LIVING IN CANCER WORLD

LIVING IN CANCER WORLD.  IT'S LIKE RACING IN THE RAIN

The last 2 months have been absolutely hellish.  Getting used to this new cancer world which we've found ourselves in has been nothing short of an uphill battle.  It feels like someone plucked out of our every day lives and stuck us into this bizarro world that makes no sense.  Tom's cancer diagnosis is the last thing I think of as I drift off to sleep and it's the first thing I think of every time I open my eyes.  Even a simple trip to the potty at 2:00 am means I'll be awake for at least of couple of hours playing out every scenario of what can go wrong in my mind.  I don't remember what peacefulness or security feels like anymore.  It's been completely stripped away.

The last 2 weeks have been even more hellish than normal. Tom underwent a series of tests and scans over the course of many different days.  By the end of last week, he was done!  And today in particular was going to be a rough day.  We were waiting to hear the test results as well as find out which treatment plan Tommy would be chosen for.  He's agreed to a clinical trial option, however the drug company decides which treatment he'll be receiving.  We were hoping he would receive a new intravenous drug that's showing very good results. This was our preference over the "standard" oral treatments that most patients receive but again, it wasn't up to us to decide.

I went out for a 16 mile run early this morning. I left the house before daybreak and had the chance to see the beautiful sunrise.  There was a thick fog that hung over the soy fields and it made everything look hauntingly beautiful.  I had to stop and take a picture or two.  And then for the first time in over 2 months, I felt a sense of peace and serenity come over me.  I told myself that I tend to build things up in my head to be bigger and worse than they usually turn out to be.  I believed in my heart that things were going to be okay.  And even if the results weren't 100% okay, they probably won't be as bad as I imagine.

I remember a triathlon coach telling me that there's no such thing as a perfect race day.  "There are going to be times where you have to race in the rain", he said.  You can't control mother nature and you can't control what anyone else does on the course.  The only thing you can do is control your own actions and prepare yourself to race in un-perfect conditions.  Adjust, adapt and learn how to be comfortable racing in the rain.

And so that's where Tommy and I are at.  We're going to race the best that we can in the rain.  The scans showed that the tumor in the lung did get a bit larger.  They also saw a small lesion on the skull bone.  There's no evidence of any new tumors on the brain or anywhere else. And as far as the clinical trial goes, Tommy was selected for the new intravenous treatment which we're very, very happy about.  We were hoping he would get that treatment.

So now it's time to prepare, adapt and adjust. We plan on becoming the best damn couple you've ever seen to race in the rain.

GORUCK KILL THAT 5K RUCK RACE REPORT NYC

GORUCK KILL THAT 5K RUCK RACE REPORT - RANDALL'S ISLAND, NEW YORK CITY

Do you love America? Mom? Apple pie? $1 beers? If you just screamed out "yes I do" then GORUCK is for you!  The 'GORUCK Kill That 5K Ruck Race' is good family fun and entertainment for everyone. Not only are kids and dogs warmly welcomed, but they are encouraged.  Tom participated in a GORUCK Light event back in the early days, when it was more...intense, for a lack of better words.  But explaining the concept of GORUCK is a bit challenging.  I would say you're probably better off visiting their website (before I screw the whole thing up) but eh what the hell, I'll give it a try:

THE HISTORY OF GORUCK AND HOW IT WAS STARTED:
First of all, GORUCK has a cult following all it's own.  I mean they even call it GORUCK Nation. Now, what is it? Well, it was founded in 2008 by Jason McCarthy, a recently retired U.S. Army Green Beret.  The word "ruck" is short for rucksack or backpack.  EVERYTHING you do in GORUCK involves the use of a weighted rucksack.

GORUCK is actually a company that manufactures military-grade rucksacks, designed by Jason to be an improvement on some of the equipment he was issued in the Army.  As a way of testing the durability, Jason initially made contact with the Tough Mudder people and he, along with a few of his Green Beret friends, participated in the very first Tough Mudder event, all the while wearing their GORUCK GR1 rucksacks.  As fate would have it, this turned out to be extremely popular and civilians began clamoring to participate as part of the GORUCK team.  This opened another door in which Jason and his friends developed a series of their own "GORUCK Challenges", endurance challenges which have become wildly popular in the OCR community.  There are presently a variety of GORUCK challenges and events held throughout the United States, with some even held in Europe and Asia.  All are lead by at least one active-duty or retired Special Operations cadre, representing units such as the Green Berets, SEALs, USMC MARSOC and Force Recon, and USAF combat controllers.  There's even a cadre who's a retired Israeli commando.  They will put you through your paces and, over the hours, build a cohesive, well-functioning team from the group of strangers who begin each event.  And you don't get a flunky finishers medal, instead you receive an embroidered patch, handed to you personally by a certified badass Spec Ops cadre who congratulates you on your accomplishment.  Ultimately, the main goal of GORUCK is to "bridge the gap" between the military and civilian worlds and give civilians a small taste of what the military lifestyle can be like.  If you think you're up to the challenge, I highly recommend you checking them out.

Ok, so now that you still don't understand our fascination with GORUCK, let me move on.  Saturdays race turned out to be a last minute decision. Originally, we signed up for the race months ago, but with Tommy's recent diagnosis we weren't sure if he should even attempt it.  But then Caitlin came downstairs all ready to go, so we packed our rucks and headed out the door to Randall's Island.  Tommy and I were signed up under the "competitive age groupers" while Caitlin was signed up for the "fun run".  When we arrived at the race, Tommy and I requested to switch from "competitive" to "fun run". and our request was easily granted.

Females racing under the "competitive" category had to carry 20 lbs of weight in their rucksack.  "Competitive" males had to carry 30 lbs and anyone in the "elite" category had to carry 45 lbs (this included both men and women).  A weigh-in station was set up where the competitive folks were required to have their rucksacks weighed. If you didn't meet the weight requirement, you either had to find something extra to put in your rucksack or you couldn't compete.  It was as simple as that.  Most folks came prepared and carried either bricks, a bag of sand or steel plates to meet their weight requirement.  A small handful of folk had to scour the parking lot for rocks (I kid you not). Even the "fun run" participants were required to carry a minimal amount of weight in their rucksacks.  Tom and I opted for bricks.

The course was an out and back course in 95 degree heat.  I knew it was going to be challenging for Tom.  While we waited for the race to start we struck up a conversation with a wonderful gentleman.  He was telling us about his cancer diagnosis 5 years ago and how radiation gave him strange tingling sensations, even 5 years later.  We were so shocked to hear this because Tommy had just started experienced those same sensations, only we didn't realize it was linked it to the radiation treatments.  Now it made sense. We told him Tommy's story and you could see he genuinely took heart with our situation.

It was 4:30 pm and the race was about to begin.  The elite group lined up first, followed by the competitive men, followed by the competitive women, followed by the "fun run" crew.  Each wave before us took off and then it was our turn to go.

The horn blew and a large group of us began our journey.  A few yards out we passed a group of folks enjoying a picnic and barbeque.  At first they thought we were weird but then they decided to cheer us on.  Several participants carried American flags which is common for a GORUCK event.  The group began to thin out a bit but we all continued to march along.  We walked along the waters edge and enjoyed the cool breeze and Manhattan skyline.  Smart folks (like us) brought their own bottles of water.  But a lot of people relied on water stations that they expected to be set up on the course.  This was kind of dumb considering there was only 1 water station set up on the entire route, and it was after the turn around point at the half way mark.

We made our way out, turned around and simply headed back.  At one point Tommy was rucking by himself at a good pace while Caitlin and I fell a bit behind.  I figured he may want some personal space to himself, so I just let him go.  After the turn around point he stopped and waited for us and we continued our journey back together.  We chit chatted with the other participants and we chit chatted with each other.  I wanted to get photos along the way since this was Tommy's first 5k race since his diagnosis.  It was fun, it was casual, it was challenging in the heat, but I was so glad we did it.

As we approached the finish line Caitlin and I ran a little ahead of Tommy. I wanted to video tape him coming across the finish line.  Since it's our belief that you should always try to run across the finish line, Tommy remained true to that belief.  After he crossed and received his patch, we noticed the gentleman (whom we were talking with earlier) standing there waiting for him.  He approached Tommy and gave him a big brotherly hug and wished him all the best. It was simply touching.

The food line was long and the beer line was even longer. We each had one coupon for a free beer however we opted for food instead. After your first free beer, remaining beers cost $1 until they ran out.  We got a couple of hot dogs, relaxed with everyone else and then headed home when we were ready. It wasn't the most eventful 5k I've ever done, but to see Tommy back to his old self for a little while, doing what he loves to do made the entire experience well worth it. Plus, all of the GORUCK folks are really, really nice and that makes the experience even better.  So get out there and KILL THAT 5K...GORUCK style!

 

 

STATEN ISLAND TRIATHLON 2015 RACE REPORT

STATEN ISLAND TRIATHLON 2015 RACE REPORT...AND AN AGE GROUP PLACEMENT

I'm a little behind on this race report (sorry) but I really do like the Staten Island Triathlon for several reasons.  It's low key, easy swim, flat course and not on everyone's radar. I'm not sure if it was my imagination, but the race felt a bit less intense this year compared to last year. I did meet a couple of triathletes who were using this race as a final tune up for upcoming Ironman events.  Plus, my brother did the duathlon and it's always fun to race with other family members.  So here we go:

Although I picked my packet up on race day, they did offer a packet pickup the evening before.  Packet pickup the evening before wasn't convenient for me, so race day pick up was perfect and appreciated.

The transition area didn't have enough bike racks for everyone, so we were a bit crammed in.  The other strange thing was that there were no designated bike racks.  We were able to rack our bikes anywhere we wanted to.  I found an empty rack close to the corner, and that was where I set myself up.

THE SWIM:
Once again, the swim took place on Midland Beach.  The water was extremely calm and it was low tide.  The buoys were set out for the 1/4 mile swim and we were allowed to take a practice swim. I got in and swam out to the first buoy and boom, I was able to stand up.  This is my kind of triathlon!  The water depth was to my chest.  I had never done a triathlon where walking the swim course was an option.

Because I had signed up for the race last minute, I was in the last swim wave and there 3 minutes in between each heat.  The first 3 swim heats got in and now it was our turn.  The horn blew and in we went.  Not too many of us, maybe 40 people at most.  I found myself swimming with a group of younger people (teenagers) and they seemed to be having fun.  They told me on the beach that they were runners and not swimmers, but they were all doing great out there.  Plus, they made me smile.

Once the herd thinned out, I took it slow. I haven't been practicing swimming that much since Tom's diagnosis.  Eventually I found my own personal space (and groove) and just kept swimming until the end.  And if lifeguard support turns you on, this swim is for you!  Lots of lifeguards in the water. The water was super calm.  No waves, no chop, just lovely.  It was one of the easiest swims I had ever done. 

T1:
I came out of the water, ran up the beach and over the sand dune (built since hurricane Sandy).  I ran into the transition area and what do I hear? The DJ is playing Enter Sandman by Metallica.  Strangely enough, I had just downloaded that song earlier in the week! I had to tell myself to stop singing and get going.

Threw my sunglasses and bicycle helmet on, then my socks and cycling shoes.  I didn't bother to wipe my feet down.  One strange thing about this triathlon is that you have to wear your racing bib during the bicycle portion, even though your bicycle has a number attached to it.  Anyway, I made sure to have my bib belt on.  I grabbed Lexa and ran for the exit.

THE BIKE:
The bicycle portion of the race takes place on Father Capodanno Blvd. It's a flat, fast 3 loop course.  On the way out you have a bit of wind in your face (as you head towards the Verrazano Bridge) but you have the wind at your back (at least a tiny bit) after the turn around.  So that's where you need to take advantage of speed.  The bicycle course is completely closed to traffic and the road conditions were pretty good.  No major potholes to worry about.  This year I didn't witness anyone falling off their bike, nor did I see any turkeys crossing the road either.  It was pretty uneventful.  I must have improved at bicycling because it felt easier to me this year.  I rode the entire course in aero position and simply found a rhythm and kept on pedaling.

T2:
Dismounted the bike and ran into the transition area.  Racked Lexa, took off my helmet, ripped my cycling shoes off and slipped my running shoes on.  Grabbed my hat and ran out of transition.  Since I was already wearing my bib, it was one less thing to think about.  I was out on the run before I knew it and had my fastest T2 time.

THE RUN:
The run portion of the race takes place on pavers along the beach and leads up to the boardwalk area where you run for a while before the turn around point.  The course is very similar to the Egan Run which we do every June.  Its simply a 3 mile run in complete sun and no shade.  There was one water station at the start of the course, and one in the middle.

I purposely decided to start my run a bit slower because I keep getting nasty side stitches, which become quite painful.  I grabbed a quick cup of water and settled into a comfortable pace that was just on the edge of "pushing it".  I decided when I got to the turnaround (half way point) I would start picking my pace up for the remainder of the race, if I could.

I managed to remain true to my plan and did exactly what I had wanted to do.  Slower and steady for the fist half, picked it up for the second half.  This worked out perfectly for me because I wasn't in pain early on and I didn't have to worry about fighting the urge to walk.  I was easily able to run the entire 3 miles and I felt good crossing the finish line.  Plus, I don't tolerate running in direct sunlight very well, so that was another reason why I had to make sure to pace myself properly.

THE FINISH:
I crossed the finish line and was genuinely happy with my overall performance.  I knew I had worked hard without hurting myself.  Did I leave anything on the table? That's hard to say.  I think as triathletes it is in our nature to believe we could have done more or better.  You know, maybe I could have pushed it more on the run because running is my strength yet I purposely held back a bit.  But maybe pushing it would have burned me out, especially in the sun.  I like to believe that I ran "MY" race and my personal best.  I didn't allow myself to get sucked into anyone else's race pace that day.

They had a nice little after party and they didn't dilly-dally with the awards ceremony.  They get right down to it and move everything along.

And...tada! I won 2nd place female for my age group.  After going back and looking at the results, the first place age group finisher (female 45-49) beat on the bike.  So I have something to work on as an area of improvement.  And yes, my swim needs help too obviously.  But all in all I had a good, solid race and I am always grateful to be able to physically take on the challenge.  It was a good day!

MY TIME OVERALL:
Swim: 11:03
T1: 1:42
Bike:  37:57
T2:  0:51
Run:  25:26
TOTAL: 1:17:00
89 out of 194 participants 

JERSEY GIRL TRIATHLON RACE REPORT 2015

JERSEY GIRL TRAITHLON RACE REPORT 2015

From a shooting star on the ride down to dolphins swimming with the athletes, the Jersey Girl Triathlon will always be one of my favorite triathlons.  This race features a bit of everything that makes triathlon magical. Add to it a beautiful sunrise, perfect weather and you're off to the races.

Packet Pickup:
I knew I should have picked my packet up on either Thursday or Friday, but I didn't.  Big mistake.  I figured how bad could traffic be on a Saturday afternoon? Surely everyone would already be at the shore by 2:00 pm, right? Wrong!  Thank you for playing, come again! Traffic on the Garden State sucked as always.  I had to get to the Sheraton Hotel in Eatontown NJ.  Bumper to bumper traffic even into the late afternoon.  Never doing that again!

They had a small room for packet pickup with various vendors selling their ware.  I got my packet and tee shirt and headed home.  One disappointment is the tee shirt.  It's a men's cotton tee shirt and just not something that I'll ever wear.  I hope they eventually change to women specific shirts, considering it is a female specific triathlon. Hint hint Doug.

Race Day:
Left my house super early this year (3:45 am) and arrived at Long Branch by 4:50 am.  I had absolutely no trouble finding a convenient parking spot and I even picked up a bagel and coffee along the way. Not that I was really hungry, but what the hell. It killed 5 minutes of my time.

I was one of the first to get into transition and was able to rack my bike close to the edge.  The 45-49 year old wave had 64 participants and was largest size age group. After racking my bike and setting all of my gear up, I left transition and enjoyed my bagel and coffee.  Since I was bored sitting my car, I went back into transition and realized there was only one person doing body marking.  Hey dude you have an extra marker, throw one my way.  I ended up body marking for over an hour and killing some time.  Plus I met a bunch of really nice women. It was a win-win in my book.  Transition closed at 6:30 am, so I grabbed my swim gear and headed off to the beach. I kept the marker :)

The Swim:

The water was absolutely calm and beautiful. I had never seen it that calm before.  The temperature hovered around 73-74 degrees and felt really good.  Everyone gathered into their start waves and by 6:50 am the "elite" racers went into the water.  Personally, I think the elite option needs to go.  Some women accidentally register under "elite" unknowingly and as a result, the second place elite female was over 6 minutes slower than me.  I say no more...

I was in the 4th swim wave and headed towards the front of the pack.  Look at me! I would have never considered doing that last year.  I pulled my goggles down and boom, they snapped in half. I was like "what the hell"?  "30 second" the race director yells.  I have NO time to get another pair of goggles.  I try snapping the nosepiece and goggle back together, and somehow I get it to stay.  But now the damage is done.  I am relatively freaked out that my goggles are going to snap apart during the swim and my contact lenses are going to say "bye-bye" and float away into the sea.  That should make for a very interesting bike ride.

"5, 4, 3, 2 1"...in we go.  I only noticed one medium sized wave to deal with and before I know it, we were swimming towards the first buoy. I was swimming with my head up and pretty sure that my goggles were going to snap at any second.  Cautiously, I put my face into the water and yes, the goggles held together.  I swam across from one buoy to the next, sighting every few seconds.  I turned the exit buoy and saw a friend who was a swim angel:

Me: "Hey Brian. Lovely day for a swim".
Brian: "HEY! It sure is the perfect day for a triathlon. Did you happen to notice the dolphins swimming with us"?
Me: "Yes I did and it was pretty neat. Ok nice chatting with you.  Gotta go, bye".

And that was it, I made my way out of the water with a couple of waves pushing me out.  My goggles held up and I was happy. I was also happy it was a short swim just in case the goggle decided to blow.  I ran up the beach and into transition.

T1:
I ran into transition knowing that Lexa was racked in section 4.  Interestingly enough, I had laid my bright orange beach towel over my saddle so that I could quickly grab it and wipe my feet down.  What I didn't realize at the time was that my bright orange towel was a beacon for me to find my bike since every single bicycle looked exactly the same.  I'll be hanging my bright orange towel over my saddle at every triathlon from now on.  I wiped my feet, put my socks, shoes, helmet and sunglasses on, grabbed my bike and ran out of transition as quickly as I could.  My water bottle was already in the cage so I was good to go. My friend Jenny was working the transition area and gave me an inspirational shout out.

The Bike:
For the first time ever, I REALLY, REALLY enjoyed the bike portion of the triathlon.  I had my bike set to an easy gear so as soon as I got on, I was moving pretty quickly.  I realized within the first 1/2 mile that I was going too fast so I tried to slow down a bit.  I knew I was somewhat rattled from my goggle experience but I had to put it out of my head.  Which I did.

I settled into the bicycle course and simply enjoyed the ride. Since I was in an early heat, there weren't too many women on the road.  Most of the people stayed to the right, with the exception of a few.  I've learned how to yell "ON YOUR LEFT" really loudly and that seems to help.  The roads are open to traffic, so you have to make every effort not to get in the way of other cyclists and cars.

I had no idea how fast or slow I was going, but I felt really rhythmic and comfortable.  My new Cobb bicycle saddle (JOF Randee) is fantastic and my RedShift Aero Bar System worked great.  I felt smooth and comfortable.  Since it's a very flat bicycle course, I was able to ride in aero position throughout most of the bike course. I watched a 28 year old go whizzing by and I just had to give my respect to her.

The bicycle course is a relatively easy out and back course.  This year I didn't notice as many flat tires as I did last year.  But it also rained last year and I know you tend to get more flat tires when the road are wet.  The bicycle portion was over before I knew it.

T2:
I dismounted my bike and ran back into transition.  This time I left my bright orange towel hanging over the rack so I was able to find my spot in a flash.  I racked my bike, ripped my helmet and cycling shoes off and got my sneakers on. I grabbed my bib belt and snapped it on as I ran out of transition.  I put Lock Laces on my sneakers so now I don't have to tie my sneakers.  That saves a ton of time.

The Run:
I ran out of transition and was surprised that my legs didn't feel as funky as expected.  You know, baby calf or rubber legs.  The run course had been changed this year because of on going construction.  We ran up one way along the boardwalk, turned around, ran back, passed the transition area and then continued towards the other side of the transition area. It was a tour de Long Branch. It was still a 3 mile run but for some reason the new course felt more challenging this year than last year.  Or maybe I'm not remembering the suck from last year. That's always a possibility.  I knew my run time wouldn't be as good this year as it was last year simply because I'm not training as much with everything going on with Tom.  But I did my best on the run and just kept telling myself to try and hold on until the end.  "You can slow down a bit if you need to, but don't you dare stop and walk". I just kept repeating this to myself.  Somewhere around mile 2 was where I was hurtin for certain.  I went out too fast at the start and I thought I was on the verge of falling apart.  I held it together somehow and crossed the finish line.  No stopping and no walking.  Once again, I was a Jersey Girl!

In Conclusion:

I just have to say that I LOVE this race.  The women participants are always so nice. The race director and volunteers are simply the best.  You're always surrounded by kind, caring people.  They offer a ton of swim, bike and run clinics to prepare you for the day.  In terms of female friendly triathlons that are great for the beginner and experienced triathlete alike, this one is it!  And the medal? Just as beautiful as expected.  Thank you Jersey Girl Triathlon!