I hate this week! I hate everything about this week. And it's only Wednesday. I know I'm being a whiny little bitch. And the worst part of it is that I have absolutely nothing to be whiny about and SO VERY MUCH to be grateful for. I'm guessing its normal to ride the triathlon emotional rollercoaster sometimes. Maybe we all get our turn on this ride. And right now the ride sucks and I'm holding on for dear life. I'm just not in a good place mentally at the moment.
Six months ago, when I first began my 'learn to swim journey', I saw the Randolph Lake Triathlon advertised online. It sounded like a good triathlon but I didn't know back then if I'd be able to swim a half mile by July. I signed up for 2 other triathlons instead. They both take place in August and both are shorter swim distances. The only x-factor with the other triathlons is that their ocean swims whereas the Randolph Lake Triathlon is a lake swim.
Then this past weekend I did something stupid. I discovered the Randolph Lake Triathlon Facebook page and I asked if this was a beginner friendly triathlon. Several people responded and told me its a terrific triathlon. A few said it was their first ever triathlon and they still partake in it every year. So, what did I do? Yeah you guessed it...I signed up of course. Because you know, that's what every insecure swimmer should do. And now I'm Monday morning quarterbacking my readiness for a 1/2 mile OWS. And my lack of intelligence? Well that comes into question too.
The race director offered participants of the triathlon a preview bike ride and a preview lake swim. So in my defense that was one of the ways I got suckered in.
So now I'm signed up for a July triathlon (because I couldn't wait until August) AND I have a preview swim in 6 days and I haven't swam a half mile non stop yet in the pool.
I went to the Y on Monday and decided I really need to add distance to my swim. I walked in and the pool was overwhelmed with screaming day campers...and I mean SCREAMING! There was only one lane open and of course it happened to be next to the mob of screaming kids. I started swimming up and down the lane and I just couldn't bring myself to focus. Every time I got near the deep end, someone was cannon balling into the water and it felt like I was going to be hurled three lanes over. And all I kept thinking about was breathing. I tried to ignore it and I managed to squeeze out 8 full laps. I stopped for about 2 minutes, took a break and managed to squeeze out 8 more laps. At that point I called it a day. My swim practice was just crappy. I felt crappy. It was all crappy. And this started off the emotional roller coaster ride.
Tuesday, I woke up 4:00 am feeling nervous and sick over this whole thing. It felt like a flood of bad thoughts, bad emotions. I went back to the Y and it was the same scene playing out all over again. Sort of like movie Groundhog Day. I manage 8 slow laps, break in between, 8 slow laps, call it day. This isn't going to work.
Wednesday rolls around and I'm feeling totally unenthusiastic because I know I have to do it all over again. This time I get to the Y a few minutes before noon. Maybe, just maybe, the kids will be going to lunch and I'll have some peace and quiet. I mosey on over to the pool and there they are, screaming away. I look at the clock, it's 11:58 am. Suddenly the councilor yells "ok, everyone out of the pool". YES, YES, YES my evil plan worked! The pool suddenly became quiet and peaceful, plus I had a lane all to myself.
I jumped in and started swimming. I always do my first 8 laps slowly and I over rotate on purpose a bit when I get air. It makes me feel more secure getting my entire face out of the water in the beginning. After I got my 8 laps in, I felt really good so I decided to keep going. No break today. I ended up doing 20 full laps non-stop (which is a tiny bit over a 1/2 mile) and I felt elated.
I left the Y feeling much better about my progress and my ability. I also came out of my funk from the last two days. Now I just need to transfer that confidence and security into the open water. Gulp...
No comments:
Post a Comment